Movie Review: Flight Of Fury

Steven Seagal...

He's a CIA Field Op who at the start of the movie is tied up to a chair about to be injected with something that will remove his memories because he knows too much. With the help of several people on the inside who apparently know all about it he breaks out and is on the run.

Now you have got to ask yourself if he has so many friends how is it that he finds himself in this situation to begin with. Next question is how is he able to move his fat ass to the top of a moving truck while it in the process of being searched. Given the fact he's so incredibly fat it's probably hard to just stand up.

Reality check. Steven Seagal is truly way over weight. He uses garter belts and loose fitting black clothes in the hopes of hiding it. Along with hair coloring, skin coloring, and cream on his face to tighten the fat. He looks like a talking java the hut straight from star wars. For him to do anything physical with all that fat and pencil thin arms and legs is a bad joke. For us film watchers to ignore the unrealistic plots we need somebody who looks a bit more realistic. Perhaps Michael Moore? Seagal's voice and respectful manners would make his films into cult classics. If the plots were improved.

Getting back to the plot. He has soo many friends yet he is forced to go on the run? Why doesn't a friend pick him up and get him to wherever. No, instead he hot wires some vehicle and drives until he is about to fall asleep. When he goes to get coffee at a gas station he ends up killing the 20 or so people that were in the process of robbing the place. Yawn. He is taken to a police station that watches and rewatches his fight scene in awe making comments about this guy being, well, something similar to an alien superhero. At this point in time a stealth fighter bomber/jet that has the ability to go invisible is stolen. Apparently it can fly from California to Afghanistan without refueling. The thief is the best fighter pilot in the world. Except for fatty Seagal who trained him. A general even fatter than Seagal, or perhaps somebody who isn't wearing a garter belt like Seagal, picks him up and tells him he has 24 hours to make it to Afghanistan and retrieve the plane. They put six seals, not sure why seals would be used for land based operations, in but they die off in a stupid shoot out. No problem, Seagal has an undercover sweetheart waiting for him with everything he needs. She knows everybody there and they kill everybody and fly home. Oh yes, there is a dog fight between him and the other guy and of course Seagal shoots him out of the air. Much to the relief of everybody because if he were to lose the biological bomb he's carrying would kill off all mankind.

Just who is Seagal's audience? Why does Seagal participate in such bad movies? It's all very sad.